.........Or are you a mirror of your dog?
The million dollar question....When your dog "freaks out" at the vet, or another dog, or the mailman, how do you respond? Do you get angry? Frustrated? Embarrassed?
Of course you do! We ALL do! Emotions are natural. They are a gift. They let us know that we have feelings and are aware of what is going on around us. But how we respond to our emotions makes all the difference in whether or not we can make a change in our dog's behavior.
Leaders lead. Followers follow. I have people tell me all the time that they are the "Alpha."
Ok, Sure.
But then, why do you follow your dog? When he barks, lunges, whines, jumps- do you get riled up? Does your blood pressure rise? Does your heart race? Does that little vein in your neck pop out? Do you panic? Do you yell or wave your arms around like a rabid orangutan?
Then you are NOT the Alpha. You are not the leader. You are the follower. You are mirroring your dog's anxiety.
Leading our dogs doesn't mean we are the biggest, baddest, or toughest. In fact it's quite the opposite. Being the leader means that you determine the direction of the follower- not imitate the follower!
Which one of us doesn't get really ticked off when the dog chews up something you loved, or leaves a stinky pile of nastiness on your freshly cleaned carpet. It can be infuriating at times. But responding or punishing your dog out of anger makes you weak and not trustworthy. Before you decide what action to take to correct your dog's behavior, take a minute (or twelve) to get control of your emotions. Use mistakes as an opportunity for teaching. If you correct your dog with calm authority instead of a Tasmanian rage, he will respect you, not fear you.
So, when Sir Barksalot acts like a complete fool, don't try to hide your emotions. That's dumb. Dogs can see right through fake and lose respect for you. They want an authentic leader.
Here's a plan:
1. STOP. Stand up straight. Remember, dogs communicate through body language so if you bend over or start spinning around and panic, you are signaling to your dog that you've lost it as well.
2. Shorten your leash and reduce your dog's movement.
3. While your dog continues to freak out, focus your eyes up and away from him. Take a DEEP cleansing breathe and release all those inner thoughts of "I'm going to kill you!" Do not stare at him. Eye contact is an affirming reward. You do not want to affirm bad behavior.
4. BE QUIET! Yelling at him repeatedly becomes you barking- again imitating his behavior.
5. Use leash pressure- not your hands- to control your dog's movement.
6. Make him SIT. Yeah, that may sound completely impossible. And it probably is, unless you practice. A lot. You will need to practice this ahead of time. Practice in your house. Practice in your yard. Practice in the parking lot at Walmart. Practice in the pet store. Practice at the vet.
Most vets welcome you to come in and work on good behavior- it makes their job much easier. So give them a call and go in and practice. Since you are not actually having anything done, it can be an all positive experience for a change. Winning!
7. If you do not have the skills to make your dog sit in any situation, you are not the leader- your dog is. Get some help from a professional trainer or obedience school.
Once you are confident that you are in control, when you get in sticky situations, go to your game plan. Stay upright. Stay focused. Stay calm. YOU need to act the way you want your dog to act-instead of your dog sucking you into a spinning vortex of stupid! YOU CAN DO THIS!
