If you immediately turn back to him (mistake #1) begin to verbally reassure him that "It's OK' (mistake #2) and bend down to pet and comfort him (mistake #3) then you are MIRRORING him, not leading him.
I see it all the time- very kind, compassionate, loving dog owners do all the EXACT WRONG things when their dog becomes frightened.
Think about this... if the room you are sitting in right now was on fire and you were trapped, would you want a fireman to gently open the door, give you a hug and tell you "It's OK" ?!?!NO! You would want him to take charge, have a plan and lead the way OUT!
But if what you do is JOIN the dog in his feelings, you are not helping him overcome them.
By turning back to him, you have left your status of leadership. You have gone back into the fire with him.
When you feel bad for the dog, now there are 2 beings that feel bad.
If you bend down and pet him or pick him up and carry him, you are rewarding an undesirable state of mind and taking him out of the situation, rather than teaching him to process through it.
Well crap- that's exactly what you do, isn't it??? That's ok- it just means you are a nice person. But lets make you into a nice person who is a hero to their dog.
Next time let's have a different game plan. When your dog panics:
FIRST: look straight ahead at the direction you were intending to travel and KEEP GOING. (don't go back into the fire) Be sure you have a non-slip collar like a martingale, on your dog at all times, so that he has no choice but to go with you.
SECOND: breathe, move forward and cheer- not comfort- "WOOHOO Buddy, here we go!"
This is hard when you have an audience and it appears you are dragging your dog, but ignore those feelings for your dog's sake and for progress' sake.
THIRD: physically lead your dog THROUGH the fear tunnel. Get all the way out and past what frightened him and then... this is the hard part....
SHUT UP! Just stand tall and relax and DEMONSTRATE that IT IS OK. Give your dog process time to realize that HE IS FINE and that he navigated a fearful situation by following a confident leader. And then you can celebrate with a snuggle!
What happens is that each time your dog moves THROUGH and OUT OF the fear tunnel, (instead of you crawling in it with him) he learns that you are confident in bad situations and all he has to do is go with you!
I personally own a Dutch Shepherd that was handed to me at 8 months of age and told she was stupid and un-trainable- because she was completely shut down. She wouldn't even open her eyes and bolted at the slightest sound. It destroyed me to see her like that. So I put her to work- training in a variety of situations that she perceived as SCARRRRRRRY.
I'll never forget the first time I walked her past a fire hydrant and she bolted and spun and nearly dragged me to the ground.
However, a year later, that same little Dutch girl, was ranked #1 in all of World Cynosport Rally Obedience. "Stupid and Un-Trainable" became "I trust you and will do whatever you say."
You can do it too. Train yourself. Lead your dog.
Yay Tina!
ReplyDeleteThis is true. The anxieties dogs develop can more often be traced right back to the very behavior we as humans reinforce in our dogs by what I call over loving. As we try our darnest to tenderly love them through an unknown fear or sudden terror we are only confirming the fears and amplifying them from there on each and everytime.
ReplyDeleteDogs will try to run away from these anxieties, sometiomes blindly which that itself is not a good thing. They will dig out of a yard, try to squeeze into a tight and difficult space like under or inside furniture a car, or trailer, just anything to get away or hide because they are confused and terrified. All this an more because they are den creatures by nature!
We celebrate our return home with them far too much and their excuberances becomes a behavior, a reaction to anyone coming in the door. Best walk past them and leave them alone for the first few minutes only speaking calmly and only when they have settled from bouncing, barking, whinning, jumping, shaking etc do you reward them with your attention.
The same behavior can also come from a learned condition when ever you walk near the treat jar or cupboard that they learn to lead you to it demanding a treat.
The complexities of behaviors and fears, bad habits and complete unsociable actions in our dogs can be traced back to when we misread them as pups, failed in socializing 101, extended our fears, frustrations and actions directly into their minds and all too often right down the telegraph line/leash when instead we forgot that to them we are their pack leader, their source of protection and comfort, their teacher!
I agree with this article except when it comes to fireworks. My boy shakes uncontrollably, pants heavily, and paces. I've only had him a year. He was found as a stray two different times and I believe he was on the streets during 4th of July before being picked up by animal control. I've tried to desensitize him with fireworks low on the TV and distract him with playing with his ball to no avail. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!
ReplyDeleteGreat Article
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